Category Archives: Emotional Unavailability

Relationships with emotional unavailability present are like being invited to an exclusive VIP event, but you find out it’s a whack party that was overpromoted.

Bryn Collins, Author of ‘Emotional Unavailability: Recognizing it, Understanding It, and avoiding It’s Traps”, makes a similar analogy in her ground breaking book.

Initially, on offer is the promise of a dazzling night if you pay your admission and invest in the festivities. You decide to work hard and save money to be a featured VIP guest- you are stoked that this will be the party of the year!

You arrive at the VIP event only to notice it’s busted down, with no decorations, music, or catering, and no one showed up. In essence, you were deceived by the hype-the upselling of a good, fun, and classy time.

However, this wasn’t possible because the promoter pretended as if he had the budget for a lavish event but overestimated on what the host could deliver.

You invested in being a featured guest only to be severely disappointed, but you are not just disappointed; you’re pissed. You did all the prep work for the party (e.g., new outfit, schedule arranged to attend) only to be duped by a farse.

Welcome to having a relationship with someone emotionally unavailable. You will have to work hard to win the “prize” of love, over-investing your resources, and selling yourself short for a relationship someone cannot offer.

Emotional unavailability is a psychosocial-spiritual condition. It’s an interpersonal problem relating to others, God, and oneself.

Minimization, avoidance, and denial of one’s and another’s feelings prevent genuine connections from forming.

If a pattern emerges that the people we choose to love are difficult to connect with, communicate with, chronically avoid responsibility, trample our boundaries, and invalidate our feelings, ‘Huston, we have a problem.’ That problem is called emotional unavailability.

Recognizing the signs is essential to stop this painful pattern. Life is too short! You don’t have to chase love or do backflips for real love.

Here are some posts that hopefully help you avoid getting trapped by the lure of inauthentic relationships. I learned the hard way, but you don’t have to.

Cheers to deliverance! Be set free!  Authentic love is around the corner and awaits! You deserve it! I hope you enjoy the content!